The Deception and Betrayal Caused By A Cheating Spouse

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Contents

  1. Underlying issues that cause affairs
  2. Secrets and Lies: The Damage of Deception
  3. Emotions Of The Betrayer, After Their Affair - After My Affair

I feel a disconnect from my husband due to his stupid and weak choices that put everything at risk. You are right, your wife has all the power. I think you need to tap into righteous anger and take back the power. Maybe your wife disrespects you and takes you for granted because she can.

Maybe you feel like she is the only one for you so you are desperate to hold on to her. She senses you are desperate and doesn't respect that. She interprets it as weakness. I tell my husband " I don't need you, I'll be just fine without you!


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I'm not even sure I want you. I cannot presume to speak for your relationship, I just hope you respect yourself enough not to put up with being taken for granted. Samuel has a good video on Anger and the betrayed spouse. Not sure of the exact title. Sometimes people need to get angry and stop being a door mat. I am probably too angry, but it is early,. I found out on December 4th that my beloved husband had been engaging in sexting for about 1 month prior. He had a history of being unfaithful in his previous relationships, but in the 6 years he had been not only faithful, but told me that it was our relationship that had finally made him understand why being faithful is not only important, but made him feel much better as a person.

The last 9 months of our lives have been totally topsy-turbulent and my husband doesn't deal well with stress. I was worried that from the stress he might reach out to another woman because I was under so much pressure dealing with a sick mother, trying to unload her huge home filled to the rafters with stuff. I have problem with getting too goal oriented and told I knew he was hurting because he had been pushed to the back burner. I told him repeatedly that he really needed to jump my case, but he said that would just be piling on and wouldn't be fair to me.

Then I found out about the sexting. I knew why it was happening but was still devastated. I shouted at him the next evening and then we began to have open discussions via email. He was journaling in a notebook nightly and was going to take down his Facebook, had made on appointment with a psychologist for the 13th which he was very much looking forward to.

We decided it would be best if he moved to s hotel for 2 weeks to get a real feel for what not being with me, the family and the cats would be. He had reservations for December 11th. I have to tell you, this man was truly remorseful and truly wanted to resolve whatever issues he had in his life that had made him a serial cheater in his past and learn how to deal with any triggers that may cause him to ever cheat on me and the family. His journaling was acceptance of responsibility and a sincere hope that he could be "fixed " once and for all.

They were truly words of hope. I knew with all of my heart we were going to get through this and be even better on the other side because we have been soulmates since the day we met. We had just started to take our relationship for granted and we knew we could and wanted to restore our fairy tale romance.

Underlying issues that cause affairs

Unfortunately, I found him dead on the morning of December 11th. So, I have been dealing not only with the grief of infidelity, but had to put to rest my best friend, lover and husband. If you have any ideas on how to cope with this, I sure would appreciate it.


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  • Thank you. I'm heartbroken for you!

    I hope that you have been able to find some sort of peace in the last few month. I am grieving after being cheated on emotionally with a girl younger and as slim as Iused to be before our child. He apparently does not remember this. Anyway, he is going to visit her country now and insists it is not for her but just to go on holiday. I know he is lying. He says he wants to work things oit aftet some time but he had not really taken responsibility. He does not get what he had done nor does he want to.

    I don't even get why part of him wants to hold on to me. It's baffling. And annoys me at the same time. I have left the home we lived together but i am yet to sign our relationship off. I think he wants to pursue her and come back if they don't work out. I find that grief goes hand in hand with hope.

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    Secrets and Lies: The Damage of Deception

    I am grieving but I havr hope of the time it will have gone away. For me, the whaling I do once a day is me letting my soul heal. I mention all the things i feel and fear to God. And I know he has my back. I know doors close for new ones to open. Whatever new ones those will be. My partner says he will take the affair analyzer when he is ready. Part of me is hopeful but part of me realises this is probably all up to the AP even though he claims he doesn't want to be with her as much as I think he does. My resolution is to take care of me and let him be. I will also be signing the papers as he has shown me who he is.

    I need to stop waiting for something different.

    What Can We Learn Through Betrayal?

    It has almost been a year since my husband went on two dates with another woman that he met on a dating app. He was writing other women too but this one wanted to meet. I have cried. I have mourned yet my pain continues. I have cried countless times alone and in front of him. Yet its still there in the back of my mind. Its still there not allowing me to be completely happy with my husband in any situation. I cant fully enjoy moments together though I try very hard. I lost a part of my love for him and it has not returned.

    I guess because the man I fell in love with was not someone who would do such a deceitful thing. After that day I will always know he is capable dishonesty and manipulation. Even if he never did it again he still did it. Whereas I would never no matter how I felt, I would never cheat on someone. No amount of crying makes me feel better.

    No amount of crying helps me transform my pain into anything other that a reminder of the deception. I cant unsee him as the person who lied like that.

    I know hes sorry. I know he he did it as an ego boost and did not intend to end his relationship with me. I just cant get through to the other side. I hate not enjoying my life because of his decisions. I am mad at him for doing this to me.

    Emotions Of The Betrayer, After Their Affair - After My Affair

    I am mad that it even had to happen and I absolutely do not care this is what had to happen for him to know how much he loves me. Its not fair no matter what. I see him smiling as he gleefully told me not to wait up he would be drinking with his buddy.